Welcome to the sad side.

So here it is, this is my baby-loss lost baby blog. I’ve been recommended to do this by my counsellor as talking about this to my family/friends I am greeted by sympathy faces but walled-off responses. “I’m sorry that you’re sad but I cannot cope with your sad and would rather you were just happy”. My friends just ask how I am in a meaningful way but I am aware everyone is really uncomfortable about this stuff so I am keeping it inside but that is not letting me unpack this hard, solid, screwed up mess inside of me.

I also want to be able to write through this part of my life as a reminder of how I have come through it, and hopefully eventually record my next pregnancy, whenever that may be, and the highs and the lows. I want to publish this stuff anonymously but will share it with others if I feel it might help them.

I don’t feel comfy writing on the discussion forums for miscarriage as it just seems to be such fresh pain there and a few replies and then nothing further. I feel real connection with the post on Glow in the Woods as this shows people’s transitions through their grief and gives me hope, but I don’t feel welcome there as my loss is different to there’s and I wouldn’t be welcome with mine despite how much I get from their postings. I really love reading the blogs and the beautiful things they say and reading of their bravery and their beautiful lost babies.

So this is my introduction post. I’m sorry if it’s boring, but I thought it would be best to get it out there and explain so if anyone is here by accident, which I highly doubt, you will know whether to read on or not.

Pip xx